ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
