He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
