I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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