She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
