so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
