No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
