Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I enjoy the company of your penis
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