That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
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