Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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