i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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