you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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