I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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