guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
3 2 1 whiskey
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
