She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
