Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
