so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
