Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
