Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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