Little spoons don't ask big questions
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
