Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
