Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
