He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
