we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
