that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
