You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
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