All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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