New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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