If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
