I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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