Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
