so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
