talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
