Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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