I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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