well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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