i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
