her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
