hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Randomize
