5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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