My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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