Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize