i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
