3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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