We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
