so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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