9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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