I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
