Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
