I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
love makes seman taste better
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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