Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
