I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
