fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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