You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
