i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
