Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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