Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
It's shark week go big or go home
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
