Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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