Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
