A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
