Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
