Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Is it because I queefed?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
