All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
