That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
