I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
