Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
